Angry and Depressed

I'm so angry right now that I'm seeing red. This has been so traumatic.

I had my road test today. I did really well .... I thought. I kept a close eye on my speed at all times, paid close attention to road signs, made sure I looked in the mirrors constantly and whenever I changed lanes or turn or anything, I shoulder checked like it was my job. But apparently it's not good enough. I failed. I fucking failed!

How did I fail? Well I went too slowly on the back streets ... the ones where I was supposed to go 50, but they were so full of deep potholes, I went 40. We were bouncing around enough is it was and even at 40, I could still feel the front and back of the car scratching against the road on almost every single pothole. Forgive me for wanting to keep my car in one piece.

And then I got dinged again, turning onto Arthur st off of Edward. Arthur had the right of way and it wasn't safe to turn. They got a yellow light and started slowing, so I turned right. The instructor told me that once I had turned, Edward st had a left turn only light. Okay, who cares ... I turned on yellow. Not according to him though. He said turning on yellow is just as bad as turning on the advance. Since fucking when!? Because of these two things: Driving slower over potholes and turning right BEFORE we had an advance green, he failed me.

Since when are you allowed to make up road rules? I knew from the moment I saw him that he wasn't a nice guy. He gave me the stink eye right away. He was impolite and honestly, held himself as if he were Jesus.

My original license had already expired and I was told that this would be my one and only attempt at getting my G license if I failed. So I waited 50 minutes in line to speak with the receptionist. I begged her to extend my license. And lucky she was nice. I booked another test. $75 off of my VISA, I'm now over my limit and I will start receiving phone calls, emails and letters very soon. On top of that, it hurts my already hurting credit score.

On the way home, I was very angry. And for anyone who hasn't seen me REALLY angry, I'll let you know what happens: I cry. For some reason, my tear ducts are attached to more feelings than I'd like and anger is one of them. I was able to hold it in until I got home. Once my dad asked how I did, I burst into tears. Of course, my mom came home about 5 minutes after. Both just watched me cry and attempted words of comfort. That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever done. This isn't the first time I'd heard of them failing people and apparently they do it a lot. But I'm a better driver than everyone else.

This was so stupid and all I want to do is cry.