The first entry

Yes, the first entry, and who knows! ... Maybe the last. I've made a blog once before. It was on myspace and I updated it about once every few months. I only had my myspace account for a year, so I had about 5 entries.

I love writing, but what would I write about? Who would want to read this anyway? I'll send this to some friends hoping they'll give a damn. Maybe they will.

So what do you write about when you have a blog? Feelings? Goals? What you did that day? Well I'll try and post what I can.

Today I woke up at 2:30pm. I probably woke up at about 9am originally, turned over and went back to bed, woke at 10am, rolled over to sleep some more ... and you get the point. I did this until 2:30pm. Is it sad that I'd much rather sleep than utilize my day? It only sets me up for disaster, which is most definitely why I'm awake writing this at 4:10am.

I didn't do much today to be honest. I watched several episodes of the biggest loser season 4, did a pretty shitty workout myself and then bathed. That is what I've accomplished today.

On a lighter note, I've applied for University and I'm checking my application like a fiend waiting for it to change from 'pending' to 'accepted.' I ended up applying for three programs, just in case, for some reason, by the time September rolls around, I no longer feel like becoming a psychologist in the future. I applied for my bachelor of arts psych major, bachelor of music, and bachelor of social work. I really need to start doing something with my pitiful life soon.

Only recently did I relapse into a deep depression. It's still something that's clouding my mind. It was the most scared I've ever felt in my life. It's hard to explain. It was like I was seeing the world through eyes that weren't mine. I would be in familiar places that would seem foreign, I would sometimes feel as though I weren't in control of my body or my mind and I had a lot of dark thoughts about life, existance, death and all of those fun things. I just want to see a doctor soon so he can give me a bunch of pills and I can be on my merry way. Perhaps this time I'll stay on the pills.

Well ... I've written quite a bit and truthfully, I have no idea who I'm writing to or if I'm just writing to Mr Computer Screen and Mrs Cyberspace. So I suppose I'll stop now. I'm going to really try and get my thought out in this thing, so if someone is reading and is finding what I have to say somewhat enjoyable, I invite you to check back to see if I write anything new.